That explains the crazy
by theknightswhosay
Summary: What do you get when you cross River Tam with the Doctor? Sherlock Holmes, apparently. Eventual John/Sherlock.


John drops the cup of tea he is holding when he sees a bloody police box appear out of thin air in the living room.

"SHERLOCK!" He has seen his fair share of impossible things but this? He is pretty certain that this is beyond impossible, this is downright witchcraft. He wonders vaguely whether this is Mycroft's doing. Either that or magic does indeed exist.

Sherlock comes down the stairs. Seeing the blue box in his living room he downright bounces on the spot (_seriously what is going on, he's not even surprised_ – thinks John. _Even Sherlock Holmes should be intrigued at the least by witchcraft._) Sherlock bounds towards the box, pulling John with him, not bothered as he steps on the remnants of the dropped cup and the hot tea with his bare feet.

"John, this should be interesting. I believe you are about to meet some very important people."

The door to the box opens, and a young man with a shaggy haircut, a bowtie and a fez steps out of it. His face lights up with delight as he spies the occupants of the room, already striding towards him. He gathers Sherlock in a hug saying:

"SHERLY! Look at this, a proper place! And you've grown again. Gosh I forget how fast that growing thing happens - you've got to stop doing that." He pauses to smell Sherlock's hair. "I'd say you're what, 20 right about now?"

"Dad, no I'm 35 at the moment you've gone too far, **again**. Judging by your attire I'd say you saw me aged 10: my birthday that was a good one. Also the average human rate of growth is not that fast father, you just haven't witnessed the normal time speed for those of us without a TARDIS – "

"SHERLOCK!" A wild looking young woman with very long, dark hair dances over to Sherlock and the man John takes to be Sherlock's father (_okay, seriously freaking out right now that man looks younger than Sherlock and are they seriously talking about fucking time travel? Definitely dreaming_.) steps back to let the woman embrace Sherlock fiercely.

The woman has a spaced out look to her. The pair of them look very much like people who have only heard about 'normal' but never even considered practising it: their clothes are eccentric, they both have a strange elegance that is something like a dancer but also like a madman. John is utterly enthralled.

"It has been exactly 28 minutes and 31 seconds since last saw you but I do believe in your time stream it has been more like 311 days since you last saw us! You have missed much commotion, we stopped the imperial galactic fleet of Jargoon from imploding upon contact with the apalapachians – fascinating species son, they have two heads! If you play chess with them…"

River Tam rambled on about their most recent adventures in the TARDIS until both herself and the doctor turned to the still shell-shocked and excluded member of the conversation.

He notices that both of Sherlocks parents (_really, parents? They look so young it's hard to believe.._) have the same habit of gesturing largely when they speak and the same problems with personal space – they are all standing very, very close.

"Why John, you look like you've seen a ghost. Have you actually seen one because River and I have been dying for a good ghost for at least two decades I'd say – "

"Actually dad, he hasn't met you before."

The Doctor's (usually non-existent) eyebrows raised in surprise.

"You mean that this is –"

"Yes Dad."

"This is actually –"

"Yes. Dad.

"So you two haven't…you know."

"GOD Dad, NO! For god's sakes." Sherlock actually flushes red and turns away. John has never seen the man **actually** flush. He is intrigued.

John finally regains control of his senses.

"I. You…Let me get this straight. You are Sherlocks parents?"

River Tam loops her arm through the Doctor's.

"Oh yes."

"And you…time travel."

"Yes."

They say it like it's the most normal thing I the world. John can only nod.

"Okay then."

Sherlock turns to him and grins. "Excellent! I'm glad you got the…difficult bit sorted. There is much that I have to tell you John, and much to show you!"

And with that Sherlock Holmes is pulling into a Police box that has just appeared in their living room, with his time traveling parents following behind.

John honestly fears for his sanity.


End file.
